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Scratchlana
27-04-2007, 02:29 PM
Advice for those seeking a better life in Alberta

The Telegram (St. John's)
Fri 27 Apr 2007
Page: A6
Section: Editorial
Byline: Jones, Brian

Now that the Calgary Flames are out of the Stanley Cup playoffs and booking tee-off times, I can finally get a good night's sleep. Opening faceoffs that take place in the Saddledome at 11:30 p.m. Newfoundland time can lead to sleep deprivation for Flames' fans in these parts.

So, my thoughts switch from hockey to the thousands of Newfoundlanders pondering a move to Alberta. Here, for what they're worth, are some pointers for a good life out west:

Go to Calgary, not Edmonton. As they say in Cowtown, the best thing about "Edmonchuk" is the road leading to Calgary.

Get a job. If you don't like it, change jobs. If they don't pay you enough, change jobs. If they don't treat you well, change jobs. "Change jobs?!" you say, aghast. "What a concept!" Well, yes. Unlike in Newfoundland - where nepotism rules, and job opportunities are often heavily dependent upon family or political connections - in Alberta, the primary determinant of getting a job will be your qualifications. "What?!" you say, aghast. "My qualifications?!" Yes. Enjoy.

Reconsider your politics. If you vote Tory, be aware that Newfoundland Tories are essentially Red Tories, but in Alberta Tories are, um, a bit more right-wing. If you vote Liberal, for the love of gawd, don't admit it to anybody.

Complain about Ottawa. You are going to the birthplace of Ottawa- bashing. Compared to fed-hating former Alberta premier Peter Loug- heed, Newfoundland Premier Danny Williams is an amateur.

Learn the language. In Alberta, "the east" means Ontario, as in, "Let the eastern bastards freeze in the dark." This is no slight to your home province, which barely registers in most Albertans' awareness. But do not use the phrase, which was popular in the 1970s and '80s. Many of today's "Albertans" are in fact "eastern bastards" from Ontario (see: Stephen Harper).

Visit the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology in Drumheller. Alberta is renowned for its spectacular dinosaurs - of both the political and fossilized variety. The latter kind are a lot more fun.

Dress western. There are terrific shops in downtown Calgary that sell bona fide western wear. If the store smells strongly of leather, you'll know the place is legit and isn't a tourist boutique. Cowboy boots are surprisingly comfortable; plaid shirts with shoulder patches will make you fit in with the locals; and a belt buckle the size of a hubcap will help you to forget Newfoundland, at least for awhile.

Go to Banff, often. The Rocky Mountains were put on this Earth to make easterners jealous. If you ski, you're in luck. If not, don't worry. Go to the hot springs in winter. Hike to the high country and marvel at the wonder of existence. For a nice break, sit on the Banff Springs Hotel's terrace and take in the view. See if you can list three places you've been to that are more stunningly beautiful (one of which must not be in Newfoundland).

Spend a weekend in Montana. Anti-Americanism is rampant, and everybody despises everything about the U.S., but just try to maintain that attitude after you've set foot in Big Sky Country.

Play the ponies. An afternoon with the thoroughbreds at Stampede Park will teach you why horse racing is called "the sport of kings." You may be a pauper, but it only takes a two-buck wager to experience the most exciting spectator sport in the world. And sometimes your nag will even win.

Enjoy the wealth. Alberta is what an oil-producing province should be: rich ... with money and opportunity. Have fun. Good luck. Come back and visit us sometime.

Brian Jones is the editor of The Sunday Telegram, and lived in Calgary from 1958-1981. He can be reached by e-mail at [email protected]

Rocket252
27-04-2007, 02:37 PM
"Go to Calgary, not Edmonton. As they say in Cowtown, the best thing about "Edmonchuk" is the road leading to Calgary."


Perception is everything - even in a satirical article.

How can this stereotype be changed?

Sonic Death Monkey
27-04-2007, 02:48 PM
Meh, all the Newfs we want are in Fort Mac anyway. They can keep the ones we don't want, including ex-Calgarians.

ED1
27-04-2007, 03:00 PM
Meh, it's an old curmudgeon Calgarian writing this... they were brainwashed back in that time by the Calgarian national anthem...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZYtbQsgiTk

Kinda makes you wanna vomit in your mouth doesn't it :)

grish
27-04-2007, 03:01 PM
some of the "Newfs" I know are higly educated PhD or MD posessing people I want more of in Edmonton. Other "Newfs" I know are some fo the most hard-working teachers whom, once again, I want more of in Edmonton. Finally, I know some "Newfs" who are very hard-working labourers (some with a ticket and some without) whom I want to see more of in Edmonton.

Perception is everything. The Newfoundlanders are not exclusively uneducated masses trying to score a big dollar in Ft. Mac.

As for the article, it is unfair.

DebraW
27-04-2007, 03:13 PM
All the "buddies" I know from the Rock are great. :D

I do wish you would stop calling everyone whose name you have forgotten "Buddy" though as it took me the longest time to realize that it was not the name of a specific person…that it was like my Aussie equivalent of calling gals – Sheilas! :?

Sonic Death Monkey
27-04-2007, 03:39 PM
Obviously my sarcastic humor flew over a head or two.

I don't think it's a serious column. And if it is, it's hardly worthy of any reaction from us.

Besides, if Brian Jones loves Calgary so much then why did he leave it back in 1981?

kcantor
27-04-2007, 04:44 PM
"Go to Calgary, not Edmonton. As they say in Cowtown, the best thing about "Edmonchuk" is the road leading to Calgary."


Perception is everything - even in a satirical article.

How can this stereotype be changed?

Edmonton has the province's largest mall and it's largest power centre.

Edmonton has twice as many airports.

Edmonton has better pro sports team uniforms.

Edmonton has the province's largest urban park.

Emonton will soon have the world's largest zoo - as soon as we complete construction of the fence around Calgary.

We will change the stereotype when the stereotype no longer bothers us.

RichardS
27-04-2007, 06:12 PM
Besides, if Brian Jones loves Calgary so much then why did he leave it back in 1981?

Speaks volumes.

So, this is either saterical drivel or mindless garbage..

Chump
28-04-2007, 09:00 AM
We will change the stereotype when the stereotype no longer bothers us.

AMEN.

Clearly this is a former Calgarian / Flames fan writing the story.

This deserves some sort of witty and humorous reply, not an angry one. I'm just not smart enough to think of something.

RichardS
28-04-2007, 03:08 PM
Think Chump, think....

LindseyT
28-04-2007, 03:26 PM
Brian, lay off the screech bye.

Chump
28-04-2007, 04:35 PM
Think Chump, think....

..."naa naaa you got a booger on your chin" always worked well for me in grades 3-6...totally threw them off....thats all I got so far....

DebraW
28-04-2007, 08:01 PM
Think Chump, think....

..."naa naaa you got a booger on your chin" always worked well for me in grades 3-6...totally threw them off....thats all I got so far....

Chump, I know you can come up with something better!

travis
28-04-2007, 08:31 PM
Think Chump, think....

..."naa naaa you got a booger on your chin" always worked well for me in grades 3-6...totally threw them off....thats all I got so far....

That's brill. Go for it.

lux
28-04-2007, 11:43 PM
Calgary didn't get what it has today by giving a darn what people in New Brunswick think.

And if you think my geography is bad then you've missed my point.

RichardS
28-04-2007, 11:53 PM
Got one queued up...going to sleep on it though...

Chump
29-04-2007, 12:34 AM
Calgary didn't get what it has today by giving a darn what people in New Brunswick think.

And if you think my geography is bad then you've missed my point.

Perfect.

Just expand that into a letter to the editor.

...also ask how long it takes to drive over that famous Trans Canada Highway Bridge to Newfoundland ...heard its really neat :smt023 :-D

LindseyT
29-04-2007, 10:59 AM
Calgary didn't get what it has today by giving a darn what people in New Brunswick think.

.

THANK YOU!!!

Oh no we might hurt somebodies feelings. Time for Edmonton to grow a pair.

Parker32
01-05-2007, 09:55 AM
Dear Mr Jones,

I guess the only thing good about going BACK to St.John's is the road from Cowtown.
Was Cowtown too much for you? Did you have to "change" jobs?
Until you have lived and worked in Edmonton, I would just say this...
Stay home in "New Found Land".

John
Edmonchuk, Alberta, The Capital City

grish
01-05-2007, 11:43 AM
this sounds like:
"I am rubber you are glue..." kind of childish. I would just ignore the guy. Any one suggesting that Edmonton is no good is entitled to their wrong opinion :wink:

DebraW
01-05-2007, 12:01 PM
this sounds like:
"I am rubber you are glue..." kind of childish. I would just ignore the guy. Any one suggesting that Edmonton is no good is entitled to their wrong opinion :wink:

^ Wrong opinion indeed!

Parker32
01-05-2007, 02:07 PM
I actually got a response from the guy...

Thank you for your comments about my column. I meant no slight against Edmonton. I was merely making light of the Calgary vs. Edmonton mentality that was so pervasive when I was growing up in Alberta. I guess I should have made it more clear that I was joking, and that either city would have advantages to people moving there.


Regards,
Brian Jones
Sunday Editor
The Telegram
St. John's, Nfld.

Why wouldn't he had made himself clear from the beginning?
Doesn't he work for a newspaper? Aren't they all about clarity?
And he must have been taken from my opinion to have responded so quickly...

Parker32
01-05-2007, 02:16 PM
this sounds like:
"I am rubber you are glue..." kind of childish. I would just ignore the guy. Any one suggesting that Edmonton is no good is entitled to their wrong opinion :wink:

I guess I am a child when is comes to being proud of the city I live in. And indeed, if you haven't lived it.. then don't dis it right?
I mean he's only an informant of the public..
with an ignorant opinion of Edmonton.
That's right, just let him be... :roll:

RichardS
01-05-2007, 02:26 PM
yes, I guess he should have made it clear...

Sonic Death Monkey
02-05-2007, 09:15 AM
See? A non-issue, hardly worth getting knickers twisted. As Lindsay says, time to grow a pair.

So, can someone shut off the alert on the front page now?

lux
05-05-2007, 07:15 AM
See? A non-issue, hardly worth getting knickers twisted. As Lindsay says, time to grow a pair.

So, can someone shut off the alert on the front page now?

Please let us take this off the front page.

RichardS
05-05-2007, 11:44 AM
It will probably happen Monday when the page admin is back at work...

RichardS
08-05-2007, 03:04 PM
It will be removed momentarily...